RESULTS OF MY HIV TEST

It can be one of the most scariest moments in a gay guys life.

Each time you take one, no matter how safe you believe you have been your heart pounds harder and harder as you wait for the results.

The results can bring a sigh of relief, followed by a rush of inner energy that almost gives you a fresh new start on life.

The results can also though bring a sinking in your heart, all of a sudden the anxiety over getting the results don't go away liked you had hoped. You realize that anxiety now will probably never really go away.

So Sat. I finally decided to get my HIV test. I choose to drive with my B/F to San Francisco to have it done. I did this because they were one of the only areas to offer the rapid 20 minute test results. Most other places take aprox a week of waiting for those results.. HELL, THE 20 MINUTES I WAITED TODAY SEEMED LIKE A LIFETIME. So I can't imagine waiting a week.

I choose to have the test done at this time for a few reasons. One was my b/f really wanted me to have it done. The second reason I did it was I wanted to make sure I was healthy before I go to prison. The third and most important reason I did it was for my own piece of mind. It had been about 4 years since my last test.

The test and the interview took only about 30 minutes. When you first arrive you are taken into one of the many small counseling rooms. There you answer some rather personal questions about your sexual history, drug habits, sexual positions, partners, ect. You are then taken into a medical room where they prick your finger and a drop of blood. The blood is put into a vile with some liquid. You are then taken back to the small room and the 20 min wait begins. Wow it felt like 20 hrs. The counselor tries to talk about safe sex practices, ect to keep your mind off the clock. After 20 minutes the counselor gets up and goes and gets your results.

OK HERE IS WHERE I GOT A LITTLE FREAKED OUT!

One minute passes, Two minutes, three minutes, 8 minutes. Im thinking "wtf is taking so long? I must be positive omg! He must be getting a grief counselor to come talk to me "
This went on and on in my head as my heart beat harder and harder. Then the door opens and its the same counselor, He says" Jamie I got your results your........NEGATIVE"
JESUS CHRIST I TOOK A DEEP BREATH AND TOLD MYSELF, SEE EVERYTHING WOULD BE FINE. I left the testing place with a big grin on my face.. The same time feeling a deep sorrow for those who don't hear that one word that has so much weight on a gay persons future. That word being "Negative". My prayers and respect are with every HIV positive person that continues to have the courage to go on each day. That still enjoy life as if they didn't have a virus that my eventually kill them.

I just wanted to share my little experience of being tested today. Maybe it can help you make your own decision to test.

If your ready to I recommend UCSF Aids Health Project .. The test is free and fast and done in 20 minutes. The saff is great.. There are no long waits, new modern building, and plenty of resources for both those found Poz or Neg. You can make an appointment with them by calling 415-476-3902

Peace out - Jamie Greiman

JAMIE HAD A LITTLE LAMB, LITTLE LAMB, LITTLE LAMB

Jamie had a little lamb
Little lamb, little lamb
jamie had a little lamb
It's fleece was white as snow

It followed him to school one day
School one day, school one day
It followed him to school one day

Everywhere that Jamie went,
Jamie went, Jamie went.
Everywhere that jamie went,
The lamb was sure to go.

It followed Jamie to school one day
School one day, school one day
It followed Jamie to school one day
Which was against the rules.

It made the children laugh and play,
laugh and play, laugh and play.
It made the children laugh and play,
To see a lamb at school.

LOL WE JUST HAD TO HAVE MY DOG CORKY'S HAIR SHAVED. HE LOOKS LIKE A LITTLE LAMB. THOUGHT I WOULD SHAR THE PICS WITH YOU ALL. TAKE CARE.

PEACE OUT,
JAMIE



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OK THIS IS STRANGE .. THE ONE PERSON IN THE WORLD BESIDES FAMILY I LOVE THE MOST PICKED THIS SONG AS ONE OF THE SONGS THAT HE THINKS ABOUT WHEN HE THINKS OF ME.. WHO IS IT FROM A GROUP CALLED 311. THE ADDRESS TO MY HOUSE. I LOVE YOU GREGG AND MISS YOU . THANKS FOR ALL YOU DO AND LETS MAKE THE MOST OF THE THREE MONTHS I HAVE LEFT.
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MY BEST FRIEND JOSH

Jamie,

I realized today just how much you have been there for me. And how much you mean to me as a friend. We have definately had our share of problems but you continue to be there anyway. Whenever I need someone to talk to I know who I can call and vent to. One of the darkest days of my life is going to be when you go to prison. I'm sure it will hurt me a lot considering I am crying just thinking about it. I just don't think that you realize how much I do love and care about you. Thank you so much for the friendship that you have given me and everything you continue to do for me. You really are the best friend that I have ever had because no matter what you are always there for me. I'm sorry that I haven't always been able to do the same for you. Just thought that you would like to know how I feel about you. Love always, your friend Josh.