RESULTS OF MY HIV TEST

It can be one of the most scariest moments in a gay guys life.

Each time you take one, no matter how safe you believe you have been your heart pounds harder and harder as you wait for the results.

The results can bring a sigh of relief, followed by a rush of inner energy that almost gives you a fresh new start on life.

The results can also though bring a sinking in your heart, all of a sudden the anxiety over getting the results don't go away liked you had hoped. You realize that anxiety now will probably never really go away.

So Sat. I finally decided to get my HIV test. I choose to drive with my B/F to San Francisco to have it done. I did this because they were one of the only areas to offer the rapid 20 minute test results. Most other places take aprox a week of waiting for those results.. HELL, THE 20 MINUTES I WAITED TODAY SEEMED LIKE A LIFETIME. So I can't imagine waiting a week.

I choose to have the test done at this time for a few reasons. One was my b/f really wanted me to have it done. The second reason I did it was I wanted to make sure I was healthy before I go to prison. The third and most important reason I did it was for my own piece of mind. It had been about 4 years since my last test.

The test and the interview took only about 30 minutes. When you first arrive you are taken into one of the many small counseling rooms. There you answer some rather personal questions about your sexual history, drug habits, sexual positions, partners, ect. You are then taken into a medical room where they prick your finger and a drop of blood. The blood is put into a vile with some liquid. You are then taken back to the small room and the 20 min wait begins. Wow it felt like 20 hrs. The counselor tries to talk about safe sex practices, ect to keep your mind off the clock. After 20 minutes the counselor gets up and goes and gets your results.

OK HERE IS WHERE I GOT A LITTLE FREAKED OUT!

One minute passes, Two minutes, three minutes, 8 minutes. Im thinking "wtf is taking so long? I must be positive omg! He must be getting a grief counselor to come talk to me "
This went on and on in my head as my heart beat harder and harder. Then the door opens and its the same counselor, He says" Jamie I got your results your........NEGATIVE"
JESUS CHRIST I TOOK A DEEP BREATH AND TOLD MYSELF, SEE EVERYTHING WOULD BE FINE. I left the testing place with a big grin on my face.. The same time feeling a deep sorrow for those who don't hear that one word that has so much weight on a gay persons future. That word being "Negative". My prayers and respect are with every HIV positive person that continues to have the courage to go on each day. That still enjoy life as if they didn't have a virus that my eventually kill them.

I just wanted to share my little experience of being tested today. Maybe it can help you make your own decision to test.

If your ready to I recommend UCSF Aids Health Project .. The test is free and fast and done in 20 minutes. The saff is great.. There are no long waits, new modern building, and plenty of resources for both those found Poz or Neg. You can make an appointment with them by calling 415-476-3902

Peace out - Jamie Greiman