NEGOTIATE THE ONE WORD I NEVER WANTED TO HEAR

WELL TODAY I GOT A CALL I HAVE NOT WANTED TO RECIEVE IN 2 YEARS. NOW ITS NOT A FINAL CALL BUT ITS A CALL THAT REALLY HAS ME DOWN. AFTER TWO YEARS OF LEGAL FIGHTING MY LAWYERS CALLED TODAY TO INFORM ME THAT WE SHOULD KNOW NEXT WEEK IF THE LAST OF MY LEGAL ARGUMENTS HAS BEEN APPROVED OR DENIED BY THE JUDGE.. IF THEYE ARE APPROVED,THEN IM FOR SURE GOING TO BE OUT FOR ,HELL, ANOTHER 6 MONTHS. BUT THE THING THAT REALLY GOT ME DEPRESSED WAS WHEN THEY TOLD ME THEY WERE GOING TO SET UP A MEETING WITH THE PROSICUTOR TO NEGOTIATE.. THAT WORD BRINGS FEAR, DEPRESSION, SADNESS, UNCERTANTY, FINALIZATION, ANXIETY, EVERY IMAGINABLE NEGATIVE EMOTION I COULD POSSIBLE FEEL. YOU SEE THE WORD NEGOTIATE MEANS THAT WELL, MY LAWYERS ARE AT A POINT WHERE THEY HAVE PRETTY MUCH ARGUED EVERYTHING THEY COULD AND WELL THAT ITS TIME TO TRY AND GET ME THE BEST DEAL POSSIBLE, WHICH MEANS THAT INSTEAD OF MY LAWYERS HAVING THE UPPER HAND THE PROSICUTOR DOES AND MY LAWYERS ARE GOING TO HAVE TO NEGOTIATE TO GET THE BEST DEAL POSSIBLE. INSTEAD OF IT BEING THE OTHER WAY AROUND.. THIS ALSO MEANS THAT I NOW AM REALIZING THAT THINGS ARE GOING TO BE MOVING SOONER THAN LATER FOR ME. HOW MUCH TIME DO I HAVE? WHO KNOWS, BUT THE REALLITY IS ITS NOT LONG ENOUGH AND I HAVE ALOT LESS THAN ANYONE WOULD HOPE FOR. WHO KNOWS 3 MONTHS , 4 MONTHS, I DON'T KNOW BUT THINGS ARE DEFFINATLY GOING TO BE MOVING MORE QUICKLY AND I NEED TO START LIVING AND DOING EVERYTHING I WANT TO DO. OF COURSE I HAVE TO SAY THIS "FOR A CRIME I DIDN'T DO". SO I'LL KEEP YA POSTED AND LET YA ALL KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT WEEK. IN THE MEAN TIME I WILL TRY AND ENJOY LIFE AND THE THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY.. LIKE MY FAMILY, MY PETS, MY FRIENDS AND JOSH.